God keeping me sober...

this is just as true today, as it was the day that God stopped me from using. had i not been physically removed from what was my life at the time, i would still be using, or i would more than likely be dead. the only thing that i did that day, which is probably the best thing i ever did...i was driven to do by the wreckage of my own life...that i caused by my using...what i did, on that last day of using, was say: "God i can't live like this anymore...please help me!" i had no clue at the time that God was behind everything that happened to me from that point on. i blamed everyone in my life for the situation i found myself in...i was so angry...there were moments of clarity...even then, when i knew that God was doing for me what i could not do for myself...but those moments were followed by resentment. even in the midst of all this, there were times that i still thought that i knew better than God!...God had to show me how powerless i was, and still am...it is not easy to admit to many of the things that i have done, and many of the things that have happened to me...on this journey of recovery...for instance...i was so selfwilled, that i had to be locked up, to learn what being free was all about. I had to really become powerless over everything...to admit to being powerless. i have had to be hit over the head with step one...over and over again for the past 7 months +...and still counting..."we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanagable." i was forced into recovery by a power greater than myself...ironically, this all happened on my belly button birthday...May 6...today, i am being held responsible by a power greater than myself...drug court...house arrest...AA...all of these are God's way of keeping me sober today...now, could i go out here and use? of course i could...i could have used when i was locked up too...fear of the insanity of my life the way it was has helped in that respect...i play such a small part in this recovery process...willingness...

just for today, i have given God a blank page...
i have signed my name, and became willing to do things his way...

yes...tis God that is keeping me sober...just for today...many blessings, star.