emotional growth...

when i first stopped drinking and drugging, i was such an emotional mess. during treatment, i found out that emotionally, i had stopped growing up and that the chemicals in my brain that naturally produced those feelings of well being, could remain out of whack for up to two years. the truth was, that i never really remembered a time when my emotions had not been out of whack. all my life it seemed i had been on this emotional roller coaster...when something good happened, i was way happy...but because the happiness came from outside myself, i would eventually come crashing down. one of the many wonderful things that i have experienced in recovery, is the spiritual completeness that living this way of life brings. i was never self-discliplined, but sure had enough self-centeredness! what is so ironic, is that being selfish about my sobriety has brought me everything i have ever wanted...peace; joy; freedom; true happiness that cannot be taken from me because it is given by the grace of God in sobriety. emotionally i am maturing. all of the things that i never really liked about myself and could never change in any stable kind of way, are being changed by God one day at a time. it is progress not perfection, and sometimes it is still difficult to not give into the demands of self...but...today i am just not willing to pay the consequences of the emotional hang overs. i love this way of life...and not only am i getting healthier emotionally...it is also effecting the physical aspect too...all in a very positive way. i am finally growing up.

just for today...star.

the garden of sanity...

the insanity of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is how i have lived most of my life. that is the "ism" of this alcoholic disease. the problem is not the drink or the drug. that is but a symptom of the problem. the problem centers in my mind. it is that insane obsession of the mind that i have that spills over into every aspect of my life. the only way that this obsession...over whatever i might be obsessing over at the time is relieved, is by a higher power. the steps are tools, and i must use them every day. it is much like a garden...once you pick the weeds, till the ground and plant...you are still not finished. i have to keep weeding...what is planted must be nourished by sunlight and rain to grow. i have a job...i must continue to do my part...and leave God's job to God...and trust God with the results. God makes it rain and shines the sun to make my garden grow...but message...God don't ho...haha!

justfortoday...star.

today's moment...

March 29...

Experience: the great impostor.

Usually our experiences teach us to continue to act in non-productive ways. We are afraid of change, therefore, we continually repeat past behaviors, ever expecting different results. The results become different only when we decide to change the initial actions. We have too many people trying to fix things that are not broken, and not enough willing to alter destructive behaviors to achieve emotional maturity.

Moment by moment, I will prevent my past, negative experiences from repeating themselves by choosing to do something different.

tlcoriginals...

true acceptance...

this is where peace is actually found...in my humble opinion. i can remember in early sobriety having to accept certain things, mainly cause i had no choice, but not really being at peace with the things i said i was accepting. the peace has been a gradual happenstance, and it can go away the moment i choose to not really accept things the way they are, truly knowing that everything is the way it is suppose to be. anytime i try and change what is, that is when conflict and chaos arises. there can be no peace in that, and today, i am all about peace within. if i believe that something is God's will, then why would i not accept it as being what is best for me? maybe at first glance i don't like it, but when i totally accept it, as God's will, and that it is best for me, then i can make peace with whatever the situation is, and what is left, is peace within. with peace, joy and happiness follow. there is so much freedom in that. no more searching and seeking and questioning...only faith that all things are working together for my good...just for today. the now is all i have. it is all any of us have. God has given me everything i need. i am finally comfortable with me and life on life's terms. i am no longer fighting anything. it is a true blessing to be sober and to be enjoying this way of life. the only thing that has not changed about these moments of sobriety that i am accumulating, is that every morning when i awaken, i turn my will and my life over to the care of my higher power. every day is an adventure. an opportunity to share with others, this gift of life. even when i am alone, i am not alone. i can feel the presence of God...in the form of peace and joy. it flows through me now, and it is a wonderful thing to know.

many blessings...star.

drug court...

phase III...just got moved up today...am finding a lot of gratitude in every phase of my recovery and my life. my attitude is very positive and one of acceptance...God's world is just the way it is suppose to be this very moment, and i am grateful for the grace that i am losing myself in...

justfortoday...starlight.

moment for today...

March 28...

How can we see the end when we refuse to see the beginning?

Human beings, somewhere along life’s journey, usually lose their God-given child-like ability to live in the now. We begin to obsess over past occurrences or we become entangled in an unrealistic projection of what is to come. When we finally come to the realization that the beginning is upon us, and we proceed to do what is right in front of us, then we claim our God-given child-like right to live.

Moment by moment, I will refuse to exist only in my mind, and I will choose to live with the spirit of a child, where everything is new, and life is an adventure.

tlcoriginals...

catching up on moments...

March 8...

Spirits divided are never apart.

The Eternal Spirit flows through everything that lives. Therefore, everything that lives is a part of the Eternal All. Life in its many forms necessitates a division of sort. When we become in tune with who we are, we become in tune with God. Whatever, whoever, wherever, or however we understand the spiritual totality, we are all linked to the Eternal Spirit.

Moment by moment, I will accept that the Spirit of God dwells within us all. It is His spirit that connects us to each other.

March 9...

Love is a circle of unity complete; it has no beginning or end with to meet.

It has been said that love comes from within. If we believe that God is love and that His spirit resides within us all, then love is unified through each soul that God created. We all have the power to choose our own path, and to become whatever we desire. Even though we might choose to be in direct conflict with our Higher Power for a time, the circle is not broken. It takes each of us to complete the circle, and in so doing, the unity of love constantly flows where it is needed most, to guide the path of the one who is lost back home.

Moment by moment, I will direct my love where it is needed the most. In doing so, I will strengthen the circle of God’s love.

March 10...

The eternal beam that is balance is real.

For many of us, a healthy balance is sometimes difficult to achieve. Whether it is our spouse, children, families, friends, career responsibilities, or just the requirements of everyday life, everything will not always work out as we plan. If we will remember that doing our best is all that is expected, it will ease the frustration of not always being able to do it all. God has a plan too, and many times, even though we think a thing to be right, it could be that God has something different in mind for us. It might be good for us to take a derailment in our plans as a sign that God needs us to stop and do something else.

Moment by moment, I will achieve balance by tuning in to Gods will, and allowing Him to guide me with His eternal beam.

March 11...

There is a God and I am not He.

The day is almost half way through, and nothing is going the way I want. The kids will not mind, the car has a flat; I am overdrawn at the bank, and late for an appointment. Dinner will not be on time, my appointment will have to wait, and the kids will miss their nap. By now I am crying and remembering that I forgot to pray.

Moment by moment, I will remember that there is a power greater that myself that can keep me sane though life gets crazy. God may not personally fix my tire or my dinner, but He will grant me the serenity and sanity I need to get the job done.

March 12...

We cannot plant another’s garden, nor can we pick their weeds.

Each one of us has our own life to live, mistakes to make, joys to own, and burdens to bear. We can share in another’s experiences, and we can offer our strength, hope and love, but we cannot live the lives of another, nor can we control the results. In this way each one of us is an island.

Moment by moment, I will plant my own garden, and pick my own weeds.

March 13...

One day we will grow beyond all that we think or feel.

The majority of the God abiding citizens believe that there will be life after death. There are many opinions as to what that life will materialize as. There are those that believe their spirit will begin again on earth in another form. Some hold to the belief that their spirit will return to its creator, and still others believe they will be brought back to life in their original bodies. It is really futile to argue such matters. One thing we can agree upon is the knowledge that God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free in the now. Whatever is done with us if and when we pass from this world to the next is in the hands of God.

Moment by moment, I will walk in the Spirit, and not concern myself with the age-old question of eternal time; that will take care of itself.

March 14...

Serenity is not simply peace; it is the inner calm amid the storm.It is not difficult to practice serenity when everything is going your way. The true test of faith comes during times of crisis. It is amidst trying times that I must honestly ask myself, “have I really turned my will and life over to God?

Moment by moment, I will maintain a serene Spirit, and walk on water with God.

March 15...

Personal responsibility is accepting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about myself.

Rigorous honesty is a personal thing; no one can do it for us. We can only fool ourselves for a time before we are forced to see exactly what is seen.

Moment by moment, I will see what God reveals, and own it.

March 16...

God does not create bad days; we create them for ourselves.

Every sunrise is perfect. So is everything else that God created. Whether the sun is shining or the rain is falling, the earth is getting what it needs. Each day presents us with opportunities to do Gods will. It is our choice to perceive it with a negative or positive attitude. When we view things negatively, we bring chaos down around us. When we approach the same situation with positive energy, we recharge our spirits, and create good days for ourself and others.

Moment by moment, I will be thankful for this day. I will appreciate Gods gift of life, and see the good.

March 17...

Spiritual and moral hilltops are reserved for God.

No one knows the mind of God. His wisdom is infinite. We cannot judge what Gods will for others might be. It is divine to give of ourselves to others, but in matters that do not concern us, mind your own business.

Moment by moment, if need be I will share my experience, strength, and hope. I will leave preaching to preachers, doctoring to doctors, counseling to counselors, and judging to God.

March 18...

Tough love without compassion is cruel.

Love without discipline is irresponsible.Just as everything else in this life, love must be balanced. We humans have a tendency to rationalize and justify our every action. We are more concerned with being right than in getting healthy results for others and ourselves.

Moment by moment, I will check my motives, and ask God to guide my decisions with a love that is balanced with genuine concern and divinely disciplined.

March 19...

Pain is ever with us, and our hearts cannot tell time.

Grieving is a part and a process of life. Realistically it takes time for events such as death, broken hearts, financial ruin, or personal traumas to become less painful. There are various stages such as shock, anger and denial that we must experience before we truly accept such as facts of life. In acceptance we always find peace, but it only comes with time.

Moment by moment, I will allow myself to experience whatever it is that I feel. Only then will I be ready for God to heal my heart, in His own time.

March 20...

Rigorous honesty only applies to oneself.

No man can see inside another’s soul.In being honest, we must always check our motives. We must remember that each of us is responsible for the condition of our own hearts, and consequently our behavior. If our honesty will help another, so be it, however, our attitude should be one of humility and genuine concern.

Moment by moment, unless another can be lovingly helped by my gentle honesty, I should keep unnecessary truths to myself.

March 21...

We cannot judge another’s heart. Hearts belong to God.

Each day we have the opportunity to be the best that we can be. No one but God can really know if we have successfully achieved our best. When someone is in that space where they are changing lifetime views and behavior, they can be very sensitive to outside criticism and opinions. This may be due to the fact that they are in transition. We all should be ready to change what needs to be changed about ourselves. Have we completely let go of our old self, or totality put on the new one?

Moment by moment, I will trust God with my heart, and the hearts of others.

March 22...

With forgiveness, comes forgiveness.

It is only when we are able to forgive others that we too are forgiven. The Lord’s Prayer states: “…and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…”. We have to remember that we must include ourselves in the category of those we forgive. If we are still dealing with old garbage, we cannot begin or continue each day anew. Forgiveness of others, including yourself, will guarantee Gods forgiveness.

Moment by moment, I will walk with God, anew every day, erased are all of yesterday’s mistakes.

March 23...

The pleasure we receive at another’s expense, always comes back to haunt us.

Sometimes we say that we have turned all things over to God, when in reality, because we are human, and by nature selfish, we hang on to things which bring us some kind of emotional payoff. We learn to believe and label these emotions as our rights. Even when we feel like we have retaliated with good purpose, have we? We must always check our motives. If our intention is to vindicate ourselves at another’s expense, then our actions are very selfish and harmful. There is never a good or right reason to injure someone else.

Moment by moment, I will remember it is not my place to retaliate...I will most definitely will reap what I have sown.

March 24...

Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

If we are to love others we must learn to love ourselves. Before we are able to do this, we must come to know who we are and accept ourselves just as God made us. We must then turn our life over to God, and allow Him to use us for His divine purposes. When we can love self, then we can begin to love others. Loving one’s self, does not mean being selfish. Doing God’s will makes us happy, so in becoming self-less, we actually begin to love ourselves.

Moment by moment, I will love others and myself to the best of my ability, and leave the results to God.

March 25...

Recognize what is in your sight, and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you.

Remember when you were a child hunting for Easter eggs? Many were hidden from your sight, but others were in plain view. You hurried to gather the ones you saw, and did not worry about the ones you were yet to find. By the time you got around to finding the hidden ones, your basket was already full. Think if you had waited to gather the ones you immediately saw, and spent time trying to find the ones that were hidden from view, some other child would have already filled their basket with your missed opportunities (or eggs if you please), and you would still be struggling to find the ones that were hidden.

Moment by moment, I will trust God and do what is in front of me to do, and I will not concern myself with things not yet meant for me.

tlcoriginals...

new adventures...

life is all about change...everything is new...trying to look at each day as a new adventure in God's world...have been very busy of late...between moving and my new job...but finally now i am somewhat settled, and will be posting on my website more. life is wonderful; today i can choose to look at the glass half empty or half full...my glass is overflowing for the most part...and NO...not with any alcoholic beverages! haha! i am getting healthier physically as well as emotionally...i love this way of living...can remember not wanting to live for so many years...life is always going to be life...it is all in how i choose to look at it today...

just for today...star...much love to all...