emotional growth...

when i first stopped drinking and drugging, i was such an emotional mess. during treatment, i found out that emotionally, i had stopped growing up and that the chemicals in my brain that naturally produced those feelings of well being, could remain out of whack for up to two years. the truth was, that i never really remembered a time when my emotions had not been out of whack. all my life it seemed i had been on this emotional roller coaster...when something good happened, i was way happy...but because the happiness came from outside myself, i would eventually come crashing down. one of the many wonderful things that i have experienced in recovery, is the spiritual completeness that living this way of life brings. i was never self-discliplined, but sure had enough self-centeredness! what is so ironic, is that being selfish about my sobriety has brought me everything i have ever wanted...peace; joy; freedom; true happiness that cannot be taken from me because it is given by the grace of God in sobriety. emotionally i am maturing. all of the things that i never really liked about myself and could never change in any stable kind of way, are being changed by God one day at a time. it is progress not perfection, and sometimes it is still difficult to not give into the demands of self...but...today i am just not willing to pay the consequences of the emotional hang overs. i love this way of life...and not only am i getting healthier emotionally...it is also effecting the physical aspect too...all in a very positive way. i am finally growing up.

just for today...star.