one moment at a time...

sometimes, and who knows why, living one day at a time is to damn hard to do! when the mind is racing, and the negative thoughts wont stop, and you can't think on your own it seems; decision making is out the window, and just being still, or trying to be comfortable in your own skin is impossible...

it is important in recovery to feel what you are feeling, whatever it is.

sometimes it feels as if your mind is going to explode! you are so sensitive to every little thing...and you don't know what is wrong and there is no figuring it out...trying to do so, just makes more of that same old insanity...

this is the plight of every alcoholic and drug addict that i know. the insanity just comes out of seemingly nowhere, and drives you nuts...

at this point, in my case, i have 15 months clean and sober, and it is not about wanting to drink or use...it is about living...with this crap that you cannot turn off in your mind!

one moment at a time...

it always takes me back to the first step...powerlessness...life unmanageable...

then of course the second step follows...do i really believe that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity...yes, i do.

then i surrender...accept where i am, what i am feeling...knowing that it will pass...

and it does...

i am very thankful that i don't get trapped in this for very long any more...progress not perfection...

it is not easy to grow up in public...it is not easy to know that you are emotionally ill, and immature...sometimes my entire body feels raw...every nerve, every emotion; am trying not to deny these things today...and moment by moment...work through them...

i have to remember that this is my sobriety...and i must put sobriety first...if i do not continue to do this, then nothing else will matter...

acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today...

starlightjustfortoday...one moment at a time...