habitual reaction...

one of the ways in which unmanageability manifests itself in our lives is through habitual reaction...

we learn to react instead of acting responsibly...we react to emotions with frustration and confusion and anger, and since we are prohibited from thinking clearly, we habitually react to people, places and things, and allow them to control our behavior...and then we justify that to make ourselves 'feel' better, by blaming our feelings and actions, or reaction on other people, places and things. we lie to ourselves, and stuff what we feel...

FEEL TO HEAL...AND KEEP IT REAL...

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY THOUGHTS, MY BELIEFS, MY FEELINGS, AND MY ACTIONS...

the unhealthy patterns of behavior that we have learned have been a way to survive...b/c until now, we have not learned a healthier way...

by looking at our own pattern of behaviors, and paying attention, and critically analyzing them, we can come to understand them, and then change them...one moment at a time...

this means that the way other people behave is none of our business...when we finally get honest with ourselves...only then can we begin to understand why things are happening the way that they are, and only then do we begin to recognize that we can change...

years upon years of living life self-will run riot does not change in the twinkling of an eye...there is no easier, softer way...then just to roll our sleeves up and get to work on ourselves...

NO ONE CAN MAKE ME FEEL ANYTHING...

UNLESS I ALLOW IT...

NO ONE CAN MAKE ME BEHAVE IN INSANE WAYS...

NO ONE CAN MAKE ME PICK UP THAT FIRST DRINK OR DRUG...

TODAY...I AM RESPONSIBLE...

but, since i had spent years allowing others to control me, and i in turn learned many ways to also manipulate situations and people to get what i wanted...it is only logical to understand that this process in reverse does not happen over night...

when we look at our relationships with others, and get honest about the part we have and are still playing...it is like looking into a window of truth...we begin to see how everything we have done has led us to where we are...

when we focus on our own behavior and feelings, we begin to see these patterns within ourselves, and in our interactions with others, and only when we begin to see ourselves honestly, can we change...

especially where it concerns our relationships, we learn to have patience and compassion for those that may not yet be able to get in touch with themselves honestly...but as we get better at being responsible for ourselves, our situation may not change, but the way we look at it...does...


so, logically, since it took us years to get so fucking tangled...untangling ourselves is a process that we attempt to do one day at a time...sometimes, one moment at a time...

we do what is in front of us to do...by acting responsibly, as adults, we take responsibility for ourselves, and allow other's to do the same...

WE TEACH OTHER'S HOW TO TREAT US...

we cannot expect that just b/c we are not using today, that others are going to automatically trust us...with time, maybe we can win back trust of our loved ones, but even if we don't, that has nothing to do with our own recovery...as we learn to respect ourselves and others, they in turn, learn to respect us, and themselves...

IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS OF ME...

STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND IN THE MOMENT...

YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON YOUR PLATE, WITHOUT BORROWING TROUBLE THAT IS NOT YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE...

IT'S NOT THEM...

IF YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM...THERE IS NO SOLUTION...

SOBRIETY IS NOT ABOUT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT...

AND YET IT IS EXACTLY THAT...CAUSE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT...IS TO BE HAPPY, JOYOUS, AND FREE...

i love you...i am very proud of your progress...remember, with every confrontation you have, whether it be inward or outward...great clarity can be gained...so, disturbances can become times of great awareness...


starlightjustfortoday...