insanity...self-made?

i don't really know if i was always crazy...i tend to think that i did not learn healthy ways of living life on life's terms when i was growing up...and b/c i was as a young child introduced to paragoric, i did not develope psychologically along normal pathways...

as we know, emotional growth is stopped when drugs are introduced...and so, i was at a disadvantage b/c of the early often use of paragoric...then i had a tramatic accident when i was a young teen, where both jaw discs were ruptured...and i was introduced to many other drugs...

wasn't long after that...i found alcohol...and illegal drugs...

i am not really sure if i can blame it entirely on the physical pain...as i tend to believe that i already had the genetic disposition, and biological presets to become addicted to chemical substances...but, we will never know the answer to that one i suppose, and it does not really matter...

i spent most my life in and out of the insanity of using drugs and alcohol...but i don't think i would have survived without them...

THEY WERE MY SOLUTION TO MY INABILITY TO LIVE LIFE ON IT'S OWN TERMS...

NOW, I HAVE ANOTHER SOLUTION...

THIS PROGRAM OF RECOVERY...

12 STEPS INTO FREEDOM...AND A LIFE THAT IS WONDER-FILLED...

for years i had no clue that my behavior was insane...i mean looking back now it is obvious...i can see it cearly now...but while i was in the middle of the insanity...i was trapped...

becoming willing to honestly look within...was the beginning of a new life that i would not trade today for any drug or drink on earth...in fact...i have found what i was always looking for in the drink and drug...peace...serenity...joy...

today i no longer have that insanity in my life...my life is filled with peace and joy...yours will be too if you continue on this journey...you will know a new freedom and a new happiness...you will not regret the past or wish to slam the door on it...

admitting that my behavior while using was insanity...help to free me from it...

coming to believe was not hard to do either...once i became willing...and realized that i had no other choice if i was going to have a chance at life...i had to believe in a power greater than myself...and as i was able to tap into that power...i intuitively knew how to handle situations that use to baffle me...still...

continue reading what you have been reading, and add A Vision For You...

you need to be journaling...about your insanity or coming to believe, or both...

have you written down your conception of god yet? you need to do that too...

STAY OUT OF DRAMA...STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD...STAY IN THE MOMENT...

STAY IN RECOVERY...IN THE SOLUTION...

STAY FOCUSED ON YOU...REMEMBER...YOU HAVE A CHOICE TODAY...

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR BELIEFS, FEELINGS, AND ACTIONS...

FEEL TO HEAL...KEEP IT REAL...

i love you...call me...

read this link

starlightjustfortoday...