setting healthy boundaries...

this is not an easy thing to do, at first; but with practice, it will begin to come naturally...

always before, when i was using, i made horrible decisions that always got me into trouble...either spur of the moment without thinking, or thinking to much a plan of controlling a situation to get what i wanted.

i would do for others, to the extremes...(it is called the martyr syndrome); latter, after i got sober, i realized that this was just another way to make myself feel better in the moment about myself...then when someone would push the envelope, so-to-speak, and take advantage of my 'goodness' (cough, laugh), i would be pushed to using again, and that is what I used for justification every time...it was a vicious cycle...

this was my pattern, and the pattern that those around me, my loved ones, also learned. when trying to repair relationships, especially those of close family, they do not understand that i have to say no now, for my sobriety, but also for their good. if i do not teach those around me to be responsible for themselves, then how can i help them? sometimes the help we give enables the other to be irresponsible...(not to mention relieves me of my sanity!)

so, sobriety is teaching me that many times i must say no. if i become overwhelmed by trying to fix or handle your stuff...which is impossible to do anyways, then my sobriety is threatened and i am no good to anyone...especially myself.

this is very tricky at first; i am not use to setting healthy boundaries...and i still have those buttons that are easily pushed, especially by close family members. have to turn all that off and over...and sometimes the only way i can truly love my family, is at a distance.

it is true that when i am spiritually fit i can go anywhere, but sometimes walking into a situation where i know my sanity will be threatened is just insane! sometimes it is just best to go to a meeting instead!

starlightjustfortoday...