28 days...

WOW...congrats...i think you are amazing...and you are doing a wonderful job...

many say that it is grace that got us here...that but for grace, specifically god's grace, that we might still be out there using or dead or whatever...

the truth is, all humans die sooner or later...do we also blame god's grace for that?

here is my point...grace may have alot to do with it...but so does our willingness to get honest...

are we to believe that we have no control whatsoever? that we are powerless over everything? if that is true, then what is the purpose? why get sober? if it doesn't matter...and we have no control over it...then what are we doing here?

sometimes i sware it does feel like that...and yet, i KNOW that i have the ability to make healthy decisions now...and i KNOW that you are making healthy decisions now too...and i also KNOW that because of this, our lives are better...

powerlessness will always come up to challenge our conditioning at some level...and our wants and desires...but if we can remain willing and honest...and just not use...feel what we feel...accept where we are...have the courage to change what we can...and turn the rest over to the god of our own understanding...then whatever happens we will be ok...

the truth is, life on life's terms is difficult at times...but most of the things we make big deals about are ridiculous...there has been many a time when i have just laughed myself silly for being angry about something that a few minutes later i would realize how unimportant it really was...a lot of this is just growing up...really...

it's funny, but my back has been hurting me the past few days, and when that happens i usually get irritable...and i have been...the littlest things have been pissing me off...lol...but it is remarkable, i find, that this is the very thing that we have been discussing, and it is affecting me at another level...i have been having to turn everything over...my will, cause i don't want to be in pain, plus it makes standing up straight hard to do, and i don't like being irritable, and i don't like being in a pissy mood...LOL...but, i too have had to just feel to heal, and keep it real...this also affects my life...cause i tend to isolate when i am in pain, cause i am not pleasant to be around...lol...but hey...I AM HUMAN...and i KNOW THIS TOO SHALL PASS...and even if it doesn't, as long as i don't use...it'll be ok...

anyways...it does get easier...and the quicker i am able to realize and get honest with ME the problem...the quicker i am able to get into the solution...what a great step 3 is!

made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of god as we understood god...

much love and joy...

starlightjustfortoday...