REFLECTION...

i have been in deep reflection over the past few days...dealing with some areas in my life where i am powerless...and trying to figure out just what i am turning over and to whom i am turning it over to...LOL...
it mostly involves interaction with others, and relationships...but when it causes me any discomfort...i have to look within for my answers today...it has also had to do with some physical issues...and i am being honest with my options...and what i can and cannot actually do about it...
some of the things that i may want to turn over...the spirit of the Universe does not want!
i am reminded that what i can do for myself...i must find the courage within to do...and that which i absolutely cannot do...that is what i must turn over...
sometimes it is difficult to intuit these things...and that is where the living experience of the moment reveals it's wisdom...wisdom is birthed by doing what is in front of you to do, as honestly as you can...then later, reflecting on it, by looking within your own awareness...with rigorous honesty...
when i continue to be honest with myself...i continue to break through conditioned awareness and disruptive behavioral patterns that no longer serve me...
if i continue to look at conflict as an opportunity for growth within my own awareness...eventually i will remain at peace, even in the midst of conflict...
one important thing to remember however, is that with each conflict, there seems to be necessary, a time of quiet reflection for consciousness to absorb what has just taken place.
to integrate the wisdom of the living experience...into the clarity of awareness...
while it may seem like you are adding something to your awareness...i tend to think of it as subtracting conditioning...
recovery is a continual process of uncovering, discovering, and discarding...that which has gotten in the way of progress of our emotional and mental development...as responsible adults.
don't forget that there are innate things in consciousness that are necessary for our healthy development...in other words...not everything about us is to be discarded...just our old ideas that do not work...our abilities that serve us well should be recognized...there is healthy anger and unhealthy anger...healthy love and unhealthy love...for example...
our job now is to look at how we react to each situation honestly, and determine what is healthy and what is not, realistically...and discard that which is not healthy for that which is...
the god of any ones understanding, whatever that is...does not want our anger...does not want our depression...those are the things that we will continue to have to look at and work out in our moment to moment life experiencing...especially our fears, because that is at the root of most of all our living problems...it is at the root of our unhealthy anger and depression...and all of our reactions...it has protected us until we become ready to look at the reasons for it...
it is called growing up and living life on life's terms...accepting what we cannot change,and being willing to change what we can...
remember...your assignment this week is to analyze the third step...
made a decision...(what does that mean?)
to turn our will...(what is the will? how do we turn that over?)
and our life...(what is our life? how do we turn that over?)
over to the care of god as we understood god...(how do we understand god in relation to the rest of the step? what can we turn over? what can we not turn over? how do we turn that which we can turn over? how do we deal with the rest?)
my dear sweet one...i am so proud of you...friday was awesome...you are helping me understand myself at a whole other level...and working and taking...incorporating these steps into our very lives...with you... is opening us both up to new levels of awareness...thank you so much for being a part of my life and my recovery...
starlightjustfortoday...