whether it is emotional or physical pain...pain is what we must look at before we can go beyond it...when we allow someone or something to control us...we are not taking responsibility for ourselves...
while we still have someone or something to blame for our feelings, beliefs, and actions...we are not being honest with ourselves...growing up is taking responsibility for our own feelings, beliefs, and actions...
most of our misery is manufactured...meaning, we allow other's to hurt us...then we get angry and strike back...or we get depressed and withdraw...and this unhealthy cycle of reacting to circumstances becomes habitual...and until we realize this, we are enslaved by the very process that we have come to know as our life...
when we begin to honestly look at our own actions...we begin to see that we did many things that were unhealthy...we can always look around and find other's that are better or worse...but that is just a matter of perception and judgment...in reality...we are all doing the best we can...until we know to do better...those that do not get better, do not have the ability to get honest with themselves...but for the grace of god...there i go...another way of looking at that, is but for this awareness...there i go...
looking at the actions of other's in our life that seemingly did harm to us, opens up our understanding of why people act the way they do...looking at ourselves and our own actions, as they relate to harming others...enables us to understand that we are no different than others...except, we have found a way out of the trap...
when we are able to look at others with compassion, then we can look at ourselves with that same compassion...and realize that everything that happened brought us to today...and in today...we can have freedom through this realization...
and so, sure, life happens, people get hurt...but mostly, we hurt ourselves, and allow other's to hurt us...until we learn how to do otherwise...
the fourth step is part of this process...we learn to take responsibility for our lives today...and we learn through forgiving other's of their ignorance and illnesses, we are also able to forgive ourselves...we also learn that many of our problems were of our own making...and so, we learn to grow the fuck up...and live life on it's own terms...
does this mean we do not feel what we feel? no...we always feel what we feel...that is the only way to heal...but we must begin asking ourselves why we feel what we feel, and what can we do about it...b/c feelings can trap us...and we are stepping through the door of honesty to be free...and so, honestly looking at how we feel and feeling it...we are able to transcend it...and see it for what it is...
most of our resentments if not all, are based in fear...we fear we are not going to get something we want, or we fear we will lose something that we have...when we really begin to look at all these fears in their various forms...and again, get honest...we begin realizing just how much power we don't have...it always comes back to our self-will-run-riot, and our lack of power...and finding a power that is greater than ourselves...
through this process...we begin to intuitively know how to handle situations which use to baffle us...in other words...god is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves...but one reminder...god will not do for us what we can do for ourselves...and so...we cease fighting...everything...and we accept what is...and we continue to do what is in front of us to do...when we become aware of a more healthy way...we ask for courage to take that way...when we are able to do so...we do...but also remember here...conditioning is habitual...and it is a process to do things differently...and so...we accept this too...
stay in the moment...stay out of your head...and in the solution...
if i am not the problem, there is no solution...when i am disturbed...there is something i am not accepting...and until i become willing to accept all just as it is...i am in fact separating myself from the spirit of life, and the peace and serenity that acceptance brings...but if i am not accepting something...then this is my clue to look beneath the surface...there is something i need to look at honestly within my own being, before i can then move into acceptance...
continue with your fourth step work...eventually the process will become apparent without you having to write it down and look at in in black and white...this may very well already be taking place within your awareness...but continue writing it down for now...
much love and joy...
starlightjustfortoday...
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