eastern medicine is way ahead of us in this...and i hear, even in America, that there are parts of the U.S. that recognize the total wellness thing...and do not try and separate the body from the mind, or the spirit from either...the truth is, i am finding on a whole new level, that you cannot really separate them and be whole. many insurance companies are paying for acupuncture, deep tissue massage, and all kinds of things that work toward a healthy body, mind, and spirit. when i was young, i was always sick. stomach problems galore, and tonsillitis...i thought that falling out of that tree, about 20 feet, and landing on my back, had more to do with it than anything else, but now, i am not so sure. when i was incarcerated, and in re-hab, there was a schedule we had...meals came at the same time every day (for the most part), and the food was pretty healthy. we complained about not having enough salt, no real meat...except for the baked chicken every Sunday, and no caffeine...but really, my stomach problems were much better then. of course, not much stress, i mean, lots of time on your hands, but everything that you needed was there, of little to no cost or trouble...sure, i was going through trauma rehab as well as the New Avenue's A & D program, but life was really simple. my point is, since i have been out...in the real world...my stomach problems have come back. now i have tried eating what all the IBS diets suggest, tried fasting, and tried anti acids...but nothing has been helping. living sober is stressful for this drunk & druggie...living life, on life's terms, is not easy for anyone sometimes. use to, i would just go to the doctor and get a pill...that is not going to work for me today, so i am having to understand that much of my stomach distress, and more than likely, many of my other physical dis-eases, are contributed to, or at least made more intense by emotional inabilities to cope with life on life's terms...especially in early recovery...without a drink or a drug. i can remember one of my long time doctors...gastrointestinal...said to me years ago...(one of the times i was trying to stay clean)..."so, when you are feeling good about yourself, your stomach is ok, right?" i can remember this really ticking me off, cause it made it all up to me...like i was making my stomach hurt! the truth is, i cannot control what i am feeling, until i recognize it and deal with it. then the only way i can control it, is to let it go...and let God. sometimes what i do or do not eat, will make this condition worse...sometimes not, but last night was one of those times...was having a time letting some stuff go that had upset me...and between my stomach and my mind...like to never have gotten to sleep...but ya know...it takes what it takes, and sometimes it takes me wearing myself out mentally, thinking a thing to death, before it is put to rest...so...i have to accept that today. it is not as bad as it use to be. and if i don't invite caffeine to the party...i have an easier time of it...also, if i steer clear of the chaos...then my mind does not race with what ifs...soooooo...maybe it is a lot about choices, but until you learn which ones are reeking havoc in your life, you are just at their mercy...once the alcohol and drugs are gone, and you begin working the 12 steps...this uncovering process can begin. and then it is all about discovering and discarding...those things that have not served you well in the past...this includes behaviors, foods, drinks, pills, exercise or lack there of, religious beliefs, and sometimes even family and friends... i have been told that there are some things you will want to keep...and yea, i guess i have a few...anyways, proper balance in body, mind, and spirit, will go a long way in making one whole...i have been falling out of trees all of my life...and maybe it has made my body more susceptible to certain weaknesses than others...but i am convinced that my body, mind, and spirit, wants to be whole, and will work towards that end if i just learn how to stop fighting against it, and let it happen...all in God's time...maybe i am a miracle in the making!
many blessings, star.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Your more recent posts are reflecting your growing inner awareness. They have even more depth, and insight.
This is a real learning thing for you star, not the superficial stuff but something that will stand you in good stead for a lifetime. Down the road i see you a mature woman, of great power, that only comes from coming to terms with one's self.
i would like to be around to see it.
Post a Comment