the crazier the world and those in it seem! maybe it was that way all along...maybe i was too busy "pouring me another" to pay attention...most the time now i do not participate in the insanity going on around me (progress not perfection)...i have turned into a quiet witness...often trying to just ignore the ridiculous things that are said and done in my presence...cannot control or fix them...and every time i try...they just get worse. when i was a young girl, i remember that my mom got very angry with my dad. she moved up into the attick...and lived there for days not speaking to anyone...i don't think i thought much about it then...probably assumed it was as normal as the rest of my life at the time...but looking back i see how insane that was...i too have done insane things when my children were young...as i get healthier, they seem to get sicker...maybe they have been waiting for me to get well, so they could...in any case, hard as it may be, i must give them to God, and stay out of the way. if i get all caught up in the chaos around me, i know my sobriety, if at all, will not be of good quality. sobriety must come first for me...or everything else will be in vain. i cried most of yesterday; today i am gonna laugh...this is life...for better or worse...and after all...it is all in how i look at it...today i choose to wear Chuck C.'s new pair of glasses! great book by the way for anyone out there in recovery...
many blessings, star.
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