step 2...

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

When i first came to AA (1990), i was searching for loopholes, and i found a bunch of them! see, i still wanted to use; i needed this help, but i did not want it...still wanted to do things my way(STILL want too! self-will is a B!) see, i was special...and you did not understand! God would help you...but not me. now i see that as just another way my mind tricked me back into addiction. this time, once i got into rehab, i was still coming up with all these excuses, but i was beginning to question them, for the first time, and begin to think just maybe they were illogical excuses...and instead of me finding them as loopholes, and allowing my mind to trick me again, God kept me sober (lockdown!) long enough that i was beginning to see the holes in my own loopholes! i had to come...to a place where i knew i needed help, and asked it of God; then i had to come too...(wake up from my chemically induced coma) stay clean long enough to even see what was happening to me...(this was something God had to do for me that i could not do for myself at the time...nor do i think it could have EVER happened any other way); so i could then...come to believe.

just for today, i believe that God can and will restore me to sanity...because HE IS!

still keeping it real, star.