step 3...

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

i am convinced that this step is the stepping stone to freedom. i have been making this decision every day for quiet a while now. everytime i think that i am ready to move on (to step 4 ), God has seen fit to put me right back into step 1...i have come to believe that i will be working these first three steps every day for the rest of my life for my recovery to have any lasting effects. infact, every morning, on my knees, i say to God...i can't...you can...gonna let you...so no more excuses, and i finally realized today that my excuses, hiding as reasonable ones, are just that, and i had to see it to see it. at first, it was, "why should i have to go back and work another 4th step?" (afterall, i have worked several of them!) then it was, "how will i ever make all the ammends that i need to make?" (jumping ahead to step 9)...anyway, my sweet sponsor, has suggested that i began working on my life story...and now i feel ready and WILLING...to take another step towards my own recovery...

keeping real...just for today, star.