participation...

i use to isolate really bad...pull the covers over my head...and when that did not work, i would escape into movies, the Internet forums...and this was just last week! haha! my how one can change if one becomes just a little willing. i made a decision last week to begin scheduling my time, which is something that had been suggested to me a while back...hmmmmmmmmmmm...i have selective hearing still! i hear what i want to hear! anyway, it became painfully obvious that i was going to have to participate in life, to have a life...whow...how simple that sounds now! anyway, a dear soul (chip), suggested this...thanx chip...back to participation in my own life...my beautiful daughter has begun discussing things with me...it is so awesome! when she was growing up, i was not available emotionally or physically most the time. she became what she had to to survive...she is beautiful and awesome, and finally she is trusting me enough to share her life with. now is one of those times when my tears are tears of joy, and my smile is truly real...i am soooooooooo blessed. now, i have this website too, and it will help me journal, remain accountable, and be responsible for me...today i am participating in my own life...and it is wonderful...many blessings, star.